Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in An Orchestrated Misery's LiveJournal:

Monday, June 26th, 2006
9:40 pm	zombie I was a zombie today. I did go to bed late, at 5am then woke up at 12pm then went back to sleep to wake up at 5pm then back to sleep to wake up at 9pm. Then i'm ordering food cuz throughout the day i ate nothing. So now i'm here showered and awaiting papa johns. The other day i bought cookies out of the blue. I was at the deliette and awaiting my sandwich when i was like, Hmm.. haven't had these babies in a while and bought Milanos. I get to my sisters and offer her some and all and we eat and she makes a comment like, these remind me when i was pregnant with Kim. I ate these chocolate cookies and blah blah blah. And i just froze like.. um.... she don't think i'm pregnant does she? Cuz i'm not and if i was i'm sure i'd have told her by now. I am on now cycle cd 55, which sux cuz normal people get their periods every 30 some 40 days. So i'm 15 days past that. And i took a pregnancy test and it's negative. Which gets me madder that my cycle hasn't arrived. I want my freaking cycle already so i can start charting. I hate not being normal. Well cycle wise.... Went out to eat w/my man, niece and her man yesterday at Don Pepe's, it was nice. We went after church. Church was nice. It's cute hearing my man sing along the hymns with me. ~Toodles (Make Me Cry)
Sunday, June 11th, 2006
3:17 am	Omen- Sign said not to see this movie I went to confession today. And it was alot easier than i feared. I was so nervous and emotional it was crazy. I mean i went in there and told him feelings straight from my heart. And when i do stuff like that , i get emotional and tear up, so when i went in i got a bit teary eyed. I told him how i'm trying to be a better person. How me and my husband want to get married in the church. And that I want a clean slate, to be forgiven for all I've done in the past. And once i left there i felt so much better. Michael did too. I love him and it's cute that he too is trying to better himself. Tomorrow i have work, i SHOULD be asleep now but i woke up too antzy. I think cuz i took my pre-natal pill late. : / But oh well. Went to see the Omen and the theatre was ghetto. People were talking and loud and just soo rowdy .I couldn't hear the movie. My husband usually will the the first to flip out and tell them to shut up, vulgarly. But who do u say that to when it was practically EVERYONE!? I was mad and walked out, as did my husband, sister, her husband, and 2 neices and got new tickets to go to another showing. The guy went in and heard them all being rowdy and u know what he did ? Nothing, just walked out. I guess all us complaining made him go check it out , but what for? He did nothing? He shoulda just tossed them all! Lol.. Ever see Scary Movie 1? When Brenda is in the theatre eating chicken and crap and talking all loud and yelling at everyone who tries to shut her up? I HAD THAT GIRL NEXT TO ME!!! I SWEAR I THOUGHT I WAS IN SCAREY MOVIE!! She was like... * THAT'S DAMIEN'S MOTHER... *7 TIMES* LOUD *LOOK AT HER EYES*, THEY'RE CHANGING* 8 TIMES LOUDLY THIS MOVIE IS GOOD!!! (2 TIMES) LOUDLY UH OH ( A GAZILLION TIMES) oh no* a gazillion more HIS MOTHER'S A JACKAL!!! (4-6 TIMES LOUDLY) Fighting w/her boyfriend who tried to quiet her down ,but failed and what not was going on. Munching on this huge sandwich and chewing with her mouth open smacking her lips ======TOOOO MANY TIMES TO COUNT!!!! GHETTO!!!! GHETTO!! GHETTO!!! What's become of our theatre? IT's joined the ranks of Newport and Jersey Gardens. (SIGH) Tomorrow after church is our 2nd attempt, if it's a no go.. i guess it's a no go. Thru all this i've remained quite calm and barely said cuss words. I am becoming more tollerable and more stronger against people who wish to see the evil in me. I am slowly going onto the path of bettering myself ,and i'm loving the journey along the way. Current Mood: sigh (2 Fallen Tear s | Make Me Cry)
Friday, June 9th, 2006
8:43 pm	Argh I went to the place to file charity care on that bill they sent me for months ago ,but it was closed. They must close early. I tried the KFC bowl and it was good, but kfc always hits me hard and just feels like i have a rock in my stomach. I bought a pregnancy test today cuz i'm late. But it was negative. I didn't think i was but i agree w/my bro that i do look like i am. So that means i have to start eating less and better. So it's time for slimfast drinx and some excercise. I have to get my body in shape. Not the greatest shape cuz i'm only doing it to get pregnant, but healthy. And I'm so cramping it's crazy, I wish my cycle would just come already and stop fussing w/me. ~Toodles (Make Me Cry)
8:30 am	The Calm..... after the storm Well this big ball of stress hit me yesterday. This is the first time i remember actually getting sick due to the stress tosssed on me. Michael wasn't home and i had to keep calling him to find out what the heck was going on between him ,his dad and his gramps. Some little stupid misunderstanding that made them all flip, and want to get ahold of him, but they couldn't. Then when i was flipping out and trying to get ahold of him, i find out all is well. They've resolved it and i'm here all wound up and they're like nothing. MY GOD, how can people live so stressful and then seconds later be so calm? I need wind down time or something, I can't just flick my emotions on in a second and then flick them off. That psychic said i should stop worrying. SO I'M TRYING. I know that doesn't help , stress that is, when trying to conceive, and also affects your cycle ,AND is BAAAAAAD if u were pregnant. So in all 3 areas i need to stay wound down so i can go forward and try to conceive. So after a loooooong sleep yesterday i feel a bit better. I cuddled with michael and we both fell asleep early. He was tired and tho he said he was fine i see he too had a headache from all the early stress. And i can't blame him, cuz to be bothered at work by stupid things with words switched around while trying to work and then sort things at home out must suck. But he was cute when he came home, all bothering me and bringing me cookies and sneaking kisses on me when i was trying to watch something, hee hee, god no matter what i love him. And it's crazy when u know underneath all the anger u felt (it wasn't anger for him, for his family) He can make me smile and just know i love him and that nothing seems to affect us. I can be mad but he surely can make me feel a whole lot better. He's my world! My everything!! And on top of it all, my best friend! I couldn't ask for more! (Make Me Cry)
Tuesday, June 6th, 2006
1:08 pm	Well we're back from Canada. I feared something would rear it's ugly head and ruin our trip but it didn't so all went well. I had a great time and will most likely post pix. Can't wait, and also can't wait til I'm under Mikey's coverage so i can get bloodwork dones and find out whats what on the baby front. ~Toodles (Make Me Cry)
Saturday, March 11th, 2006
12:21 am	OKAY! Long time no write here!!! Well for starters, I'M MARRIED! Me and my man got married by court on Valentines Day. One of the best days of my life. It was great! Celebrated with family and with eachother when the night was over. It was the happiest day in my entire LIFE. We're saving up for next years' big ceremony which we'll be doing Lord of the Rings. So now i'm ordering odds and ends and probably paying for this and that so we can save up for a Honeymoon to New Zealand, WHERE ELSE? Figured if i'm going to go on a plane and die, why not w/the man i love to a place that is perfect for our wedding theme. Yes if u figured it I'm afraid of planes and flying. Not cuz of events that took place in the us. But ever since i was a kid , when my parents would go to Cali and leave us kids with family ,i'd pray and cry every night for their safe return. I cried ALOT! And when i went w/them i wasn't scared cuz if the plane went down , i was with them. But then in 8th grade i went alone and that just brougth back the fear with more intensity. I pleaded w/my parents to ride home w/them and not take the plane back alone. I did go home w/them and the ticket trash. But i hate flying! I hate sharks too! Going to run now ,i'm tired but just so you know. I'M BACK!!! (1 Fallen Tear | Make Me Cry)